Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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