we have officially lost it.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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