sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
