another moral hangover. fuck.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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