Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
