totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
