they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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