The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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