just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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