It's like God shit irony all over that family
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
