I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
