Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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