direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
