So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
