i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
