The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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