I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
