Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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