just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize