Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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