I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
