Where is the hickey?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
