smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
