but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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