i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
