You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
