she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
