ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
