i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
There r osticjed everywhere
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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