While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
