I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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