I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
