hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i drank out of a bidet.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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