Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
