I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize