We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
