There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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