you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
