Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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