If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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