boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize