I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
