New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I touched a dick in church today
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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