No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
