Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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