They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
