it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
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