I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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