New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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