Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
