Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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