Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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