you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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