We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
