just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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