Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
