You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My liver just broke up with me...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
